


Blood on Ice

by Odekiisu



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (very minor), (which gets punched in the face by Phasma both literally and figuratively), ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - World War I, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, M/M, Minor Character Death, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, Sort Of, Will add tags as I update, crylo, playing fast and loose with both history and geography, with just a touch of:
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-17 16:36:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11855514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odekiisu/pseuds/Odekiisu
Summary: In the aftermath of the Great War, a small nation in the north of Europe must fight for its right to exist. Armitage Hux, 17, decides that joining this struggle for existence is the only right way forward, and most of his friends agree... Most of them, except for Kylo.Kylo Ren, almost 17 and head over heels in love with Hux, decides that despite everything, he has had enough of everyone telling him what he should do and who he should be, and rushes headfirst into some exceptionally bad decisions.





	1. And I will return victorious

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads-up: things will get pretty bad at some point in this fic - it's a war, after all - but fortunately for you (or unfortunately, depending on what you like reading) I'm a weakling who can't handle exploring super angsty topics so this will be a lot less horrible than it could be, especially regarding topics such as misogyny and homophobia during that period.
> 
> Warning: chapter may contain extremely lame jokes and word-for-word translations from Estonian. If anything is unclear, drop me an ask at huxkiisu on tumblr; I may also explain some things in chapter endnotes if necessary.

_Cannot the tongue of this land,_  
_In the wind of incantation,_  
_Rising up to the heavens,_  
_Seek eternity?_

\- Kristjan Jaak Peterson

 

 _Tartu, December 1918_  

"Have you heard?" said Hux as he entered the classroom, not even bothering with greetings. "The boys from Treffner are all volunteering, as one man."

The usual pre-class chatter suddenly fell silent, and Hux set his briefcase on his desk at the front of the class before looking around, uncertain, the excitement and optimism from this morning having worn off at some point between rushing up the stairs to the classroom and actually entering it. In its place, a nagging worry that he'd miscalculated, that his classmates would not react as he hoped, that they would not join the growing support for a free country, one of their own and not made or dictated by the Russian communists or German barons.

"Well, we can't let those porridgefaces get one over us, now can we?" said Mitaka.

"I, for one, am volunteering. Who's with me?" Hux asked.

Silence.

"I know some of us can trace their ancestry to the old German nobility," here Hux looked pointedly at Kylo, but the man was avoiding his gaze, "-but are we not Estonian at heart? Are we going to sit here and do nothing while our fellow countrymen die for us?"

"But still, going against the Landeswehr and all the talk of that Baltic Duchy of theirs..." muttered Rodinon.

" _And_ the Reds," added Thanisson.

"I say we still have a chance," replied Mitaka. "And clearly I'm not the only one." He turned to Hux. "The mobilisation may not have worked, but so many have volunteered already. _And_ I've heard that Finland will support us as well." He stood up, grabbed his cap, set it on his head. "I'm with Hux. We have to fight - nobody’s going to do it for us."

"The people won't stand for the Germans' idea of a Baltic colony," Hux said. "A country _for us_ , one _created_ by us, is the only right way forward. Or would you rather let some German snobs or Russian imperialists tell us what to do?"

"You're right," said Datoo. "I'm with you."

"Well?" Hux asked, planting his hands on his desk. "Who else?"

"I suppose," said Rodinon with a smirk, "If Hux thinks it's a good idea then it must be."

Datoo clapped him on the back and Mitaka let out a whoop.

"Thanisson?" asked Rodinon.

"Of course," Thanisson replied, looking down his nose at Hux, cap perched awkwardly on his head.

As the cheering and praise slowly died down, Hux looked at the only person who hadn't spoken up even once: Kylo, leaning back in his chair, feet resting on the edge of his desk.

"Kylo?"

The silence that followed could be cut with a knife, as Kylo slowly looked at each one of his classmates but Hux, considering. Finally, he took his feet off the desk, sat up, and said. "No."

"Come on," Thanisson piped up, "Is this because of what I said before? I was only joking!"

The fact that the rest of the class hadn't been nice to Kylo was well known to Hux. Well, that was an understatement. They'd been bullying him more or less from the day he joined the class.

Kylo raised an eyebrow. "You can all go die if you want, then we'll finally be rid of you for good. I'm not risking my life for a doomed cause."

"Look, you asshat," said Rodinon, "this is our country's future on the line. Don't be such a coward and do your part for our country!"

Hux could see Kylo's shoulders tensing, his fists clenching, a sneer pulling at his lips. Hux made to move towards Kylo, to break up the fight that was about to start or prevent it from happening altogether. This was going to end badly, if Kylo lost his cool - but try as he might, Hux couldn't fault him for trying to defend himself and his honour.

But then Kylo finally looked at Hux, for the first time this morning. Shaking his head, he stood up, shanked Thanisson in the face, and left, grabbing his coat and bag.

"What the hell, you fucking sprat?!" Thanisson shouted after him, clutching at his bleeding nose and completely ignoring the death glare Hux shot him.

Hux turned to go after Kylo, but was stopped by Mitaka's hand on his arm. "Let him go."

Hux took a deep breath. Mitaka didn't understand, not really. Hux wasn't entirely sure that even he did, though he liked to think that this _thing_ , whatever it was, between him and Kylo meant that he could understand him better than most. He shrugged Mitaka's hand off, but by the time he'd made it down the stairs and outside, Kylo was nowhere to be seen.

 

* * *

 

_ Four years earlier _

It was October of 1914, and it was, for the first time in this new school, Kylo's turn to stay on after classes to clean the classroom and lock up. Turns here were a week for each pair of students, unlike the last school he'd attended, where everyone had been assigned a day of the week. That had been the main reason why he hated Tuesdays - he preferred to spend as little time as possible in the company of classmates he couldn’t stand, yet once a week he had to stay after classes and get along with one of them for nearly another hour.

After class ended, he'd left his things at his desk and gone to relieve himself, not entirely caring who he was paired with - everyone here seemed to either hate him equally or else ignore him completely. Either way it would be difficult, but at least it would be less painful if he was paired with someone who tried to avoid him as much as he tried to avoid them. Slipping back into the classroom, though, his eyes fell on the figure leaning against the window, the light from the setting sun painting him in glowing shades of gold, his hair a fiery orange-red.

He was beautiful. No, stunning.

Kylo didn't even dare breathe in fear of breaking this rare moment.

But break it did, when Hux - that's who it was, Hux from the first row, who hadn't so far given Kylo a second glance - turned and spotted him. "There you are, Solo."

Kylo closed his mouth, grabbed a rag and started aggressively cleaning the blackboard, hoping to whatever powers may be watching over him that Hux hadn’t noticed him staring, couldn't see the way he was blushing. He tried to think of something - anything - to say to fill the tense silence in the room.

"It's... Kylo, actually. Kylo Ren." Fuck, out of all the things he could say, why did he pick _that_? He'd never told anyone before - well, not anyone important. "That is, I'd prefer to be called Kylo Ren," he added, quietly, cursing his impulsive self for revealing so much so soon and bracing himself for the ridicule that would surely follow. He'd never live it down. He'd never be able to look Hux in the eye again -

"Alright, Kylo then." Hux set about straightening the desks and chairs, without giving any indication that he found the name that Kylo chose for himself strange at all.

A sigh of both relief and surprise escaped Kylo - nobody had accepted him as easily as that before. In his experience, people had always thought they knew what he was like, that they knew him better than he knew himself. Except for Hux, who, for reasons Kylo couldn't quite fathom and wouldn't ever truly find out, didn't question it when Kylo told him he preferred another name.

For the first time in a long while, Kylo felt entirely happy to be himself.

 

* * *

 

"A little bird told me that your lot have decided to volunteer," Phasma mentioned as she and Hux were walking back towards their respective living quarters in the old, run-down workers’ barracks on the edge of town. The chilly wind was ruffling the fur on her collar and making Hux wish he'd had the presence of mind to take his gloves with him this morning.

"Yes," Hux said. "I need a few days to sort things out, but then I'm going."

"Hmm," Phasma ashed her cigarette. "I'm coming with you."

"No," Hux sighed, "You're not."

Phasma glared at him. "Yes, I am. This is my country as well, and I will not be left behind."

Hux took another drag of his cigarette. "So be it, then." He himself would rather have Phasma watching his back than anyone else, but he also wasn't entirely certain if the recruitment office would let her enlist, on account of her being, well, a her. Though, now that he thought of it, Phasma did have a knack for overcoming such minor difficulties, partly thanks to being both taller and stronger than a lot of men he knew - apparently, they found it intimidating to be stared down, figuratively _and_ literally, by a female.

"What of the rest of the class?"

"Mitaka is coming, and so is Thanisson. Rodinon needed some convincing." Hux rattled off the names of classmates who'd be volunteering.

"What about Kaplan?" Phasma asked once Hux was finished.

"He’s disappeared somewhere, haven’t heard from him in months," Hux said. He didn’t mention the speculation among the rest of the class that he’d packed up and left the country, or else been captured and possibly even shot together with his family due to some alleged crime or other.

"And Kylo?"

"He decided that it isn't worth it," Hux sighed. "Of course, it could be just him being stubborn, not wanting to associate with the rest of us."

"I'm sure he'd like nothing more than to associate with you in just about everything," Phasma mentioned.

Hux felt his cheeks heat up. "I haven't the faintest clue what you're talking about." It had been just the once, years ago, hiding in that barn at Rõngu... Surely Kylo wouldn't be that obvious... or that persistent?

"I'm sure you don't," Phasma said in a bland tone, ashing her cigarette. "But I'm just saying, the way he looks at you, it's like a hungry pup watching its master eating a piece of ham."

They stopped in front of the shop a mere block away from Phasma's apartment, where they ducked under the eaves as the first drops of watery sleet hit the ground. Here, their ways would part, and for the third time this week, Hux ran the calculations in his head and realised that he still didn't have enough money for dinner. Resigning himself to yet another hungry night spent studying and doing his best to ignore his empty stomach, he put the cigarette out and prepared to head towards his own apartment.

Phasma took a look at Hux, then rolled her eyes. "Alright, my hungry pup, I'm buying you a bread roll."

Hux tried his best to make his face show the gratitude that he couldn't - not quite, not yet - put into words.

 

* * *

 

"Well, well," said one of the men from the First Platoon, approaching Phasma and the rest of the Second Platoon, "I didn't know we had lassies here as well."

Phasma eyed the poor unwitting soldier standing over her, and Hux watched with amusement as she slowly stood up and realisation dawned on the soldier that this 'lassie' was taller than he was and just as broad.

"You were saying?" she asked in a chilly tone, looking down her nose at the man and discreetly flexing her arms.

He stared up at her with wide eyes, then broke into a shit-eating grin. "Ain't nothing wrong with taller ladies, I'm sure. You wanna join us real men instead of loitering around these schoolboys?"

The loud _smack_ of Phasma's fist connecting with the man's eye socket was the most satisfying noise Hux had heard all week. The man swore, clutching his face, and retreated as quickly as he could without it looking like he was running.

"How many times do I have to punch you idiots before you take a hint?" Phasma complained, pulling her woollen mittens back on. "Honestly, it's like you men are trying to be dense."

Most of Hux's class, not having known Phasma as well as Hux did, had been a touch apprehensive that a woman was joining their group at first. Despite this, they had quickly warmed up to her after she invited the most physically imposing one of them, Rodinon, to a wrestling match - which she won. Ever since then, the others in the class had kept a respectful distance from her, more than a bit afraid of what she could do to them (though none of them would ever admit it, except maybe Mitaka) but mostly being friendly and accepting her presence as a fellow soldier and volunteer.

"Guys," Mitaka tapped Hux's shoulder, getting his attention, "The Battalion Leader's coming this way."

As quickly as they could and with very little grace, the whole group shuffled to their feet when approached by the large, greying man who was followed by three other soldiers, volunteers as well by the look of them: a taller one, a shorter one and a dark-skinned one.

"Second Platoon!" he addressed the group, who were rather clumsily standing at attention. "You're too few to be a full platoon as you are. These three men have come all the way here from Tallinn, and are not currently part of any unit. I have decided that they will join your unit for now. Is that clear?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Hux could see both Mitaka and Datoo sneaking glances at him, trying to gauge his reaction. He nodded.

"That is all," and the battalion leader dismissed them.

The three newcomers seemed to hesitate, until Hux stepped forward to shake each of their hands and introduce himself.

The taller one stepped up first. "I'm Dameron, Poe Dameron," and he gave the most charming smile that Hux had ever seen. "This here is Finn," Dameron continued, indicating the dark-skinned one, "And..." Here he paused for a second, considering. "This is Rey," he finally said, motioning towards the shortest of the group, a challenge in his eyes, as if he expected Hux to dispute something.

And now Hux could see it: the one called Rey, though cleverly dressed in cloak, men's boots and scarf, appeared to be a woman as well. Quickly deciding to act as if this was nothing out of the ordinary - because apparently in his platoon it wasn’t - he said, "I'm Hux, you’ll be reporting directly to me. This here is Mitaka," and he proceeded to name everyone in the group, finishing with Phasma.

She stepped forward gracefully and nodded at the newcomers, and Hux could see Rey's eyes widen in excitement.

"Oh, I thought she was just..." Dameron trailed off, looking her up and down. Well, mostly up.

"Just what?" Phasma asked in the same icy tone she'd used on the soldier before, stepping right into Dameron's space and glaring down at him.

"Oh, and Phasma could probably kill each and every one of us with her bare hands," Hux mentioned in passing. "Most everybody in this battalion knows that by now, I'd think, and if anybody wants to give her any trouble for not matching the expected gender of the average soldier," Hux shrugged, "I guess they'll learn not to mess with her the hard way."

Dameron gulped and took a step back. "Oh, I didn't mean- that is, I..."

"I know what you meant," Phasma said with a smirk. Then she turned towards Finn and Rey and said, "Welcome to the Second Platoon." She then nodded at Rey and - Hux wasn't sure if his eyes were deceiving him or not - did Phasma just wink at Rey?

He shook his head. Can't have been. Phasma kept her cool at all times. Phasma did not go around _winking_ at people.

"Don't you worry, you'll fit right in with us weirdos," said Rodinon.

"Yeah, you'll fit with us like Phasma's fist fits into a twerp's eyesocket!" Mitaka added, and even Hux couldn't resist a bark of laughter at that. Phasma smacked Mitaka on the back playfully, nearly sending him careening off the barrel he was sitting on, to further chuckles from the entire platoon, even the three newcomers joining in - Finn and Rey hesitantly, but Dameron with gusto.

 

* * *

 

"Before the dusk falls,  
I will go into battle,  
And I'll return victorious  
Or I will fall.  
And I'll return vic-tooo-rious  
Or I will fall!"

The merry tune, sung with Mitaka leading from his comfortable, warm seat on the sleigh and the whole of their platoon joining in for the repeats, accompanied the battalion as they marched towards the meeting point near Otepää. Even Rey's voice, higher than the others by a significant margin, joined in. Initially this had drawn some attention from the other men in the battalion, but a piercing glare from Phasma, who they had learned not to mess with, quickly made them divert their attention somewhere less obvious. Rey and Phasma had certainly become fast friends over the past few days, Hux thought, though that was hardly unexpected, given the circumstances they were in.

Suddenly, there was the sound of an explosion and gunfire coming from up ahead - Hux immediately sprinted off to get his orders from the battalion leader, which were to prevent the enemy from surrounding the battalion's left flank. Heart hammering in his chest, he dashed back to his men, relaying these orders within the space of a single breath. Mitaka was on his feet in an instant, and everyone else followed as Hux led them into the woods by the side of the road.

As they made their way forwards between the trees, Hux kept his eyes and ears open for any kind of disturbance. It was eerily quiet, not even the wind rustling amid the bare twigs of the surrounding trees, every footstep that each one of them took sounding awfully loud.

Several shots rang out, and Hux saw a bullet hitting the trunk of a tree nearby, sending pieces of bark flying.

"Get down!" called Phasma at that same moment, and Hux found himself face-down on the ground before she'd even finished.

Lying there, hands covering his head, Hux waited and strained his ears. After the few shots fired by his platoon in the direction that the first shots came from, he heard nothing. Daring a peek up, he spotted movement in the distance.

Running away from them. The Reds were running from the battalion.

"The enemy is retreating!" Hux shouted, grabbing his rifle and getting to his feet in one fluid motion, signalling for the others to do the same.

"Let's give them a good fright, so they'll know not to mess with us in the future!" said Dameron, a dangerous glint in his eyes. Hux nodded.

With Phasma flanking him on one side and Dameron on the other, they charged forwards at the retreating Russkies, stopping occasionally to take aim and fire a few shots at their tail. They were far enough away that most of the shots missed, but that wasn't the point of this.

Running, shouting, shooting, surrounded by friends and people he trusted - Hux felt powerful. Like he could take on the entire world with nothing but his platoon by his side, and come out victorious. Like he could take down the sun, and annihilate whole planets with a single gesture, if he wanted to.

This feeling persisted right up until after the impromptu post-battle celebration at a roadside pub in the nearby village had ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, '(something) fits like a fist into an eyesocket' is a legit saying, for when something fits or matches well. Also, if you go around any school here calling yourself Kylo there is a 100% chance that you will be nicknamed 'kilu' (=sprat), especially if you're of the tall and skinny type (which Kylo may well have been).


	2. The wind carries away my soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title and lyrics at the beginning are from ['Jõud' by Metsatöll](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agMQ5-rMvSI)

_Mother, answer me for justice’s sake_  
_Am I doing the right thing_  
_Every foe that will taste my steel  
_ _Is somebody’s father, brother or husband_

 

_ January 24th 1919, Rõngu village _

They were supposed to meet up with reinforcements at the village of Rõngu. And yet here they were, camped on the outskirts, listening to Rey’s scouting report.

"There's no reinforcements in sight."

Phasma drew level with Hux. "This could be a trap." 

"Yes," Hux said. He looked over the scattered farmsteads of the village peeking out from between the bare branches of the smaller birches and rowans, and the well-trod path that meandered between them, then came to a decision.

"Wait here," he instructed the squad. "If I don't come back-" He swallowed. "Follow Phasma's lead. She'll know what to do."

With that, he made his way over to the nearest farmstead and knocked.

"Это кто?"

"Estonian boys," Hux replied.

The door opened a crack.

"Come in. You alone?"

Hux considered for a moment, then shook his head.

"We thought you were one of the Russian soldiers we saw this morning," the middle-aged man at the door said in a low voice. "Good to see some fellow countrymen around."

"Russians?" Hux asked, stepping into the shadows of the small chamber.

"Yes," the man replied, "My daughter saw them marching towards the old manor just this morning."

Hux tried to surreptitiously look around the farmhouse, or as much as he could see of it in the dark from the small antechamber. "How many?"

"Couldn't say. They were cutting straight through the woods over by Hiagemäe. Certainly more than thirty, could be up to a few hundred."

Hux thanked the man and turned to leave, but before he could do that, the man asked, "Say, aren't you and your boys hungry? How many are you?"

"Not many," Hux replied. "Thank you for offering."

"Well, bring them here, we do have some food we can spare for the brave souls fighting for this country."

Hux nodded at the farmer, then drew his coat tighter around himself and stepped back into the thick snow.

"So?" asked Phasma as Hux returned to the squad, who were waiting patiently and, in some cases, nervously for him.

"He said that there were Russian soldiers here just this morning, that they were headed towards the manor up on the Castle Hill," Hux said. "He also invited us to stay for dinner, if we want."

Thanisson perked up at that. "Food? Real food?"

"Don't get your hopes up," muttered Mitaka. "It probably won't be much."

"But at least it'll be warm," Thanisson replied. "God knows I've been frozen into an icicle more times than I can count out here."

"What if it's a trap?" asked Finn.

Hux felt the eyes of the whole platoon on him.

"I don't think it is, but hold on to your weapons," he said. He hadn't seen anything suspicious in the farmhouse, and the man himself did not look to be lying.

Phasma gave a curt nod, and even though Finn seemed unconvinced, he nodded as well.

"So it's settled then?" Hux asked.

A unanimous and hungry chorus of affirmatives was his answer.

The old farmer's house was blessedly warm, and the food was excellent compared to what they had gotten used to eating. As they sat down, crowding the small table in the middle of the spacious central chamber dominated by a huge oven, the mouth-watering smell of fresh, warm bread surrounded them. Hux looked around eagerly for its source.

And there it was: freshly baked dark bread with slices of delicious, delicious smoked ham that was quite honestly the best thing Hux had eaten in months, if not years. And there was a platter of beans. And a jug of kvass being passed around.

Best day ever.

Next to him, Phasma was scarfing down food with an eagerness that he hadn’t seen in a long time, and across from her, Rey was mirroring her so precisely that Hux nearly choked on a mouthful of bread. On his other side, Mitaka was dipping the beans into salt and shoving them into his mouth at the speed of a factory line worker, and Dameron downing the remains of the kvass.

When Hux was done eating, he thanked the farmer and his wife once again for the food, then turned back to his men, who were finishing up as well.

Inevitably, the conversation turned to the presence of the Russians and the conspicuous absence of the battalion that should have met them here.

“We need to know what the Reds are up to,” said Rodinon.

“I agree,” replied Phasma, turning to Hux. “We should scout out their position, figure out how many there are and, if possible, what they’re doing. Then when the others arrive –  _if_ they arrive, we’ll have valuable intel to give them.”

“And if they don’t arrive?” asked Datoo.

“If there’s a couple dozen of the enemy, then we could take them out,” said Dameron. “They won’t expect us.”

“Sneak attack, I like that,” said Rey. “They won’t know what hit them.”

Hux held a hand up. “We don’t know how many Reds there are, and they’re most likely camped in the manor up on Castle Hill - it’s an easily defensible location, I’m not at all sure that we could take it with just the nine of us.” 

 

* * *

 

In the end they'd decided, lacking any other real options at the moment, to scout out the Reds' hideout in the manor, see what they were doing.

It had taken them nearly an hour to get to the Castle Hill, during which time the sun had set, plunging the snow-covered landscape into an icy darkness.

Sneaking up on the old manor proved a bit more difficult than Hux had anticipated. He'd been here before, granted, but it had been a long time ago and in June, when the leaves on the trees provided quite a bit more cover and gave an impression of thicker foliage than it actually was. The Reds had the advantage here, being on the higher ground, with rather sparse opportunities for cover surrounding the hill and the dark coats of the squad standing out against the snow like raisins in bread, ready to be picked out and eaten, even in the middle of the night thanks to the light from the moon.

Eventually they'd found an abandoned building, one that probably belonged to one of the farmsteads at the foot of the hill but had fallen into disrepair, and chose that as their base of operations.

"Old Man Weather really is out to get us," said Rodinon. "I swear, that wind’s gonna bring a bloody snowstorm with it."

"Not to mention the fact that it's freezing," added Finn.

Thanisson, eternally cold, nodded, shivering and trying to rub some feeling back into the fingers of his right hand, which had been occupied with holding his rifle on the way here.

"We can't wait too long," said Hux. "We'll have to risk it. I'll take two volunteers with me, the rest of you stay put."

"I'll come," said Phasma.

"Me too," said Rey.

Hux nodded. Before they left, he turned back and whispered to Mitaka, "There is a small chance that we'll return with a battalion of Reds on our backs. We'll try to lead them into the woods, if possible, but be prepared to run, just in case."

"Yessir," Mitaka replied.

With one final look at his men, Hux slipped out of the door and into the biting wind, snow crunching underfoot. The manor itself was almost hidden from view at this angle, only a corner of a roof visible between the treetops surrounding it.

Phasma and Rey were already deliberating the best way to approach the hill.

"There's a hedgerow flanking the main road up the hill that could provide us with cover," said Phasma. "But it's also likely to be the most guarded route up the hill. And we'll also need to make sure that our tracks won't be followed back to the hideout."

Hux looked around to orient himself and remind himself of the lay of the land. Over towards the right was one of the two paths up to the hill - the other one would be on the opposite side from here, and to the left, half-hidden behind bare trees, stood a tall, red shape.

Of course. The ruins of an old medieval castle that had once stood on the hill looking down on them from between old birches. It cast a long shadow on the steep slope dotted with bushes that just might provide enough cover to sneak up and perhaps even take a look around at the manor built right next to it.

"We can use the shadow of the ruins there - climbing up that side will take us close to the main building, which is probably where they’ll be," said Hux. "There’s some barns up there, further back, and a second way up the hill a bit beyond them, but that’s the easiest place here to set up an ambush, and if anyone’s hiding in the barns they will most likely see us coming if we approach that way."

Both Rey and Phasma agreed with the plan.

"How do you know all that?" Rey whispered as they were walking.

Before Hux could answer, Phasma said, "He’s been here before, with Kylo Ren - that’s one of his classmates, he used to live here."

"Oh," Rey said. "What happened to him?"

A fair question - Rey knew that the men in the platoon that weren’t Dameron, Finn or herself all came from the same class. Hux shrugged. "He ditched us, I suppose."

Rey nodded and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. The snow wasn’t deep, only ankle-height, but could still be treacherous on a slope this steep with the wind howling around them, doing its best to push them off their feet.

Climbing up as quietly as they could, Hux kept his ears open for any and all movement from around them. It was still possible that there was a sentry near the ruins, and if so they could be discovered at any moment. They kept close to whatever cover they could find, be it a bush bare from its leaves or a piece of rock broken off from the cliff or the ruins, as they made their way up the steep slope. The fresh, undisturbed snow made that difficult, hiding the shape of the ground below and making it slippery, as well as putting their movements in plain view of anyone bothering to look down. Several times Hux's foot slipped and nearly sent him tumbling down the slope - a mistake that would take Phasma and Rey behind him down as well.

A soft thud accompanied by a yelp made Hux look back. It was Rey, who had lost her footing and was now slipping down the steep hill, grabbing handfuls of snow in an attempt to slow down and right herself. Phasma caught her, and for a heart-stopping moment Hux thought that both of them would go rolling down all the way to the bottom.

But that didn't happen. Phasma kept her balance, and then helped Rey back up to her feet, brushing snow off her back, shoulders and collar.

Eventually, against all odds, they made it to the ruins without being spotted. Hux took a moment to catch his breath, then another to orient himself in relation to the manor grounds. Behind this section of wall, about a dozen yards away, would be one end of the main building of the manor; somewhere beyond it, the barns. It was eerily quiet - besides the howling wind, Hux couldn’t hear a single whisper of what might be waiting for them on the other side of the ruins. Slowly, he peered around the corner, expecting to see a rifle belonging to a Red soldier.

Instead, what he saw made his blood curdle. A pile of bodies on the ground in front of the manor - old, young, men and women, their blood seeping into the ground and staining the snow a deep scarlet. A slight change in wind direction brought with it the smell of death; Hux gagged and pulled back to the shadow of the wall.

"What is it?" asked Rey.

"They've killed them," Hux replied. "The people who used to live here, the Russians have killed them all." He didn't know this for sure, as he wasn't as familiar with the people here as Kylo would have been, and he hadn't been looking for long enough to recognise anyone, but there were definitely enough bodies for that to be the case.

Rey leaned across to see, then immediately pulled back, eyes wide.

For once, Hux was glad that Kylo was not with him - he shouldn't see this, the bodies of people he likely knew and cared about tossed carelessly into a pile as if they were nothing more than dirty rags.

"Jesus," whispered Phasma. "They didn't let anyone go, by the looks of it."

The sound of several pairs of feet and commands shouted in Russian made them all pull back behind the cover of the ruins.

"How many of them are there, do you think?" asked Rey, voice low enough that Hux had to strain to hear her, despite standing next to her.

"Not sure," Phasma replied. "More than fifty I’d say, could be a whole battalion. It's a big house, they could be hiding upwards of a hundred men in the main building alone."

Hux peered around the wall one last time, carefully, and saw two soldiers with red bands on their sleeves marching away from the house, towards the barns and outbuildings further away.

"We should leave," he whispered.

Phasma gave a curt nod. Rey adjusted the strap of her rifle and turned to go.

Footsteps crunching in the snow were approaching them. Someone, probably a sentry, coming towards their hiding place. Hux pulled Rey back against the wall, slowly inching away from the edge and towards a small alcove that just might hide all three of them from view for a bit longer.

The footsteps paused. Rey tightened her grip on her rifle. Phasma glanced at Hux, brewing panic etched into the lines of her face.

More sounds of boots on snow, close, but not coming any closer. Hux held his breath, running through their options, should the soldier find them. A gunshot would definitely be heard, and they wouldn’t make it very far. Phasma might be able to overpower whoever it was, but that would cost them precious time, and if the soldier managed to shout for help…

The soldier did not appear to have any interest in what was on the other side of the wall, and Hux slowly relaxed.

Someone called from the direction of the barns and the soldier replied - Hux could not make out what it was they were saying, but then the soldier’s footsteps sounded again, this time receding.

Rey sighed in relief. Hux gave her a good pat on the shoulder and said, "Come on, we need to leave."

They made their way back down the hill in the midst of fresh snowflakes falling in large clumps around them.

 

* * *

 

_ Rõngu manor, late June 1916 _

Hux suddenly felt a tug on his sleeve - Kylo, pulling him back, backing up against the side of the barn. "What-" he started, only for Kylo to shush him and cautiously peer around the corner. Then, grabbing his hand, Kylo pulled him back, towards the door of the barn, where he started fiddling with the door latch.

"Will you-" Hux started again, but Kylo frantically motioned for him to keep his volume down. Hux sighed. "Will you tell me what's going on?" he whispered.

Kylo got the latch open, pulled Hux inside and closed the door behind them, enveloping them both in darkness.

"I... didn't actually tell anyone that we're coming," Kylo finally confessed, voice low. "I didn't know that Han - my father - would be home. I don't get it, he's- he's never here, why now?"

"So that's how it is." Kylo had never really spoken of his family before - and by the sound of it, his relationship with them wasn’t a good one, much like the situation that Hux himself had with his own father. Though Hux thought that he wouldn’t quite sink to hiding in a… He looked around, eyes starting to adjust to the darkness. They were in a cattle shed, though the usual occupants appeared to be temporarily absent, perhaps out grazing in the meadows they’d passed on the way.

"Are we going to stay here, then?" Turning back to Kylo with a smirk, Hux saw that the other boy was studiously looking at anything but him.

"For a little while, I think, yes," Kylo finally said, looking up at Hux. "Let's go up to the hayloft, in case anyone looks inside?"

Hux nodded. "Let's."

Hiding between haystacks in a barn should be below him, Hux thought, and yet there was something strangely thrilling about all this - so much so that he didn't even notice how close Kylo was until he felt soft lips against his own, just for an instant.

"What?" Hux's brain hadn't quite caught up with him, but Kylo was already retreating, trying to make his large, gangly frame appear smaller.

"What - I'm sorry, I thought..."

"Hush," Hux said, glancing towards the door, and then decided to throw caution to the wind. He grabbed two handfuls of Kylo's shirt, pulled him back and, after a moment's hesitation, kissed him.

Hiding among the haystacks in a barn, making out like a pair of barbarians. If his father found out about this he'd have a heart attack. Hux couldn't find it in himself to care.

He traced Kylo's bottom lip with his tongue and Kylo sighed, opening his mouth and meeting Hux's tongue with his own.

Kylo wrapped his arms around Hux's shoulders and Hux slid a hand to the small of Kylo's back.

Kylo pushed Hux backwards until his shins hit the haystack and he let himself fall on it, pulling Kylo down with him. The impact of Kylo landing on his chest knocked the air out of his lungs with a loud 'oof!', and Kylo let out an undignified and surprisingly high-pitched chuckle at that. Hux stared at him, doing his best to keep a straight face. "What was that?"

Kylo hid his face in the crook of Hux's neck - was he blushing? He probably was, but Hux couldn't tell. They lay there motionless on the scratchy hay for a minute, two, three, until Kylo rolled off of Hux and onto his side. He hesitantly ran his fingers along the line of Hux's collar, but the moment they'd shared earlier was all but gone, and Kylo didn't look like he wanted to rekindle it.

"Let's stay here until the sunset," Kylo whispered. "Then we can sneak into the house, I think, without being noticed. If we need to."

Hux nodded. "If that's what you want. We'll be here a while, though. The days are long and nights are short, and Dusk is waiting to join her lover Dawn, if even for the briefest moment."

"Didn’t know you were one for poetry," Kylo muttered.

 

* * *

 

_ January 24th 1919, Rõngu _

He hadn't realised where they were heading before it was too late. Not that he could have done much.

Kylo eyed the edge of the forest, the familiar shape of the trees taunting him. They couldn't be heading that way. No.

The old manor was just beyond that hill, hidden from view for now, and the village just ahead, the first buildings hidden behind the thicket on their left.

Nobody had mentioned that they were marching on Rõngu, and Kylo desperately clung to one last bit of foolish hope that they were going to pass it by, or that nobody would be home, anything, _anything_...

He had no such luck. The company didn't turn onto the path to the neighbouring village of Tilga, but kept going, laughing and joking all the while. Kylo had stilled, unable to believe, unable to comprehend the banter of his comrades, unable to see anything except the paths he had explored with Hux, what felt like an eternity ago instead of the few summers it had actually been, until a shout of his name snapped him back to the present.

"Come on, Ren, stop dawdling!"

That had been Aresko, one of his... Well, friend was the wrong word to use. More like one of his comrades that he knew slightly better than the rest. He'd left his classmates because they didn't care about him, because they didn't respect him or anything, but now he found that his supposed fresh start wasn't any better. No, the people here in the Red Army could be just as mean, just as uncaring, just as nasty. Well, at least nobody cared whether he used his birth name or not, they all called him Ren here.

They were walking on the path winding between the low, smooth hills so common here, forests on both sides, and Kylo spotted that one tree. The one that he'd climbed into once, with Hux watching.

Hux. Ren wondered where Hux was now. Hopefully far away from here.

He realised now what it had been that drove him to join the Red Army - spite. Spite against his classmates, against his noble and not-so-noble family who hadn't seemed to care one bit for what he actually wanted.

But never against Hux.

The mere thought that Hux could be, and most likely was, on the other side of this war, made Kylo's blood turn cold.

Unexpectedly, the battalion turned off the path.

"We're heading for the Castle Hill," their commander called out. "There's shelter there, and a vantage point. Once we have the manor, we have the village."

The taste of bile rose in Kylo's throat.

_No._

NO!

But he steeled himself. What was done was done. Besides, wasn't this what he wanted? Get revenge on his family, for all that they had done and all that they hadn’t done?

 _Not like this. Never like this_ , a small voice in his head said.

He kept marching, not looking up. He knew this forest. He knew where to watch his step as he trudged through the snow, thinner here under the trees than out on the open fields, just as he knew that the best strawberry field was five minutes' walk to the east of where he was. That bit of information, detached from everything else, floated through his mind as he did his best to not think about the potential outcomes.

It was about mid-January - there was a good chance that his mother was elsewhere, in town. But as for the rest of them, the groundkeepers, the hired help - what would their reactions be when they saw him marching in along with a Red Army battalion?

They were all working-class men, perhaps they'd celebrate their liberation. For all he knew, quite a lot of them could be supporters of the cause.

Trouble was, he wasn't at all sure that _he_ cared for what they were trying to achieve.

And suddenly, Kylo looked up and there it was: the old hill upon which a castle had stood once, and where his childhood home was.

His boots felt like they weighed a tonne as he climbed up the hill, the rows behind him only thing keeping him moving. Once he reached the top, the carefully-kept manor grounds, he stopped.

The battalion was scattering; their orders to round up everyone they could find and bring them outside.

"Is there a problem?" came Commander Snoke's gruff voice from behind him. Kylo turned around.

"No, sir."

The Commander motioned for Kylo to move, get to work, help round up anyone and everyone he could find here.

Kylo did.

He entered the barn that was closest to the big house, where he heard one other soldier snooping around already. Kylo barely acknowledged him as he made his way towards the corner of the barn.

_Do not think of Hux. Do NOT think of Hux. Don't think of how his lips felt on yours. Don't think of any of that._

He climbed the ladder by the empty cattle stalls up to the hayloft half-blind, not even bothering to wait for his eyes to adjust to the almost complete darkness after the blinding glare of sunlight on snow outside.

The moment he was through the trap door, he kicked at the nearest pile of hay, screaming in frustration when it had no effect save for scattering the hay around. He needed to _break_ something, damn it! He whirled around and smashed a hand against a roofbeam. He rested his forehead against it, relishing the pain in his hand and its ability to distract him from the disaster that was his current situation.

Eventually, he slid down to the floor and turned around, pressing the back of his head against the solid wood. He sat there, silent, just breathing, trying to ignore the muffled screams from outside, until he was almost certain that the soldier downstairs had left.

And then something shifted against the wall furthest away from him, making the floorboards creak.

It stilled as he tried to make out the shapes in the shadows, but eventually he noticed someone curled up against the wall - some worker's daughter, by the look of her, a young child from one of the farms at the base of the hill; her name escaped him now.

He pressed a finger against his lips. She stared at him, wide-eyed, and gave a quick nod.

"Ren?" someone called from down below - so the soldier hadn't left - and he called back, "Empty!"

"Come on, then!"

Kylo took a deep breath to center himself, and, with one parting nod to the girl still curled up in the corner, started the descent down the ladder.

Approaching the door of the barn, his eyes were assaulted by the painful brightness outside, and he had to take another moment to steady himself.

There were people gathering in front of the big house, he could see. It was eerily quiet, compared to the quiet chatter of soldiers and the occasional screams and brief sounds of fighting that he could still hear inside the barn.

He was slowly plodding towards the largest grouping of people when the first shot rang out, followed by a woman's scream. Dropping his rifle, he rushed forwards, dread coiling in the pit of his stomach.

There, lined up against the wall of his childhood home, a line of people. People he used to know, people he used to play with as a child, people whose names he couldn't quite call to mind but whose faces were undoubtedly familiar.

And _he_ stood there, in the line...

Kylo's eyes met his father's for a brief moment, before the Commander shot him and he collapsed with a sickening thud.

 _He should not have been here,_ Kylo thought as the next shot sounded, accompanied by uncontrollable sobbing. He was frozen, rooted to the spot, unable to do anything but stare at the body of Han Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so, updates will probably be really slow because unfortunately university has to come first for now, but I've already written like 90% of this fic so rest assured that it won't be abandoned :)


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